As the pipe clamp blisters began to pop and heal on my hands, I knew I was in a race against myself to find my next gig in woodworking. I had just quit my job after I was put on a mandatory 72-hour work week schedule, which was neither safe nor necessary in the warehouse where I was a full time furniture maker. From my first taste of sawdust, I was hooked. I loved everything about it, especially the aches & pains associated with putting in a hard day of manual labor.
I had moved thousands of miles from my industrial Michigan factory roots, only to go to college and decide the blue collar life is what I wanted. I quit my job, only when it was obvious that it would either kill or permanently injure me...but it was still one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Besides the fact that I love it, I realize now how wrapped up I was in the identity of being just one thing...In my working life, I have always had to have at least three side hustles going on and I've done everything from nude modeling, to being a maid, a well-paid executive assistant, an extra in movies, a make-up artist, to an apprentice sander in a woodshop.
When I call home to update my family, typically, whatever it is I describe is met with unconditional love & acceptance, even if there is a tinge of it not necessarily being understood. As a woodworker, I was finally able to align myself with an identity - one thing that I loved being and doing...and it was so much easier to explain that!
Predictably, when the job fell apart, I scrambled for any paying gig I could find on craigslist. As it turns out, it was a good time to be involved with film making and I even signed up for acting classes. Being involved in the process is as exciting as it seems like it would be - even the long hours of waiting, while being completely dressed to the nines for a 6:00 a.m. call time, shouldn't be exciting, but it still is.
Around this time I also found work as a fit model, working for a local design house. It's a job that pays very well but the work is inconsistent. Still, I am extremely thankful to have it, even if it is a bit weird for me to use it as an identifier at the dentist's office and have the receptionist squeal and ask me a bunch of questions about the job. That's a rock star moment, I'm not going to lie, but it's completely foreign to me to identify myself as "model" in any capacity...especially when "factory rat" was a closer signifier just weeks ago.
I'm not sure if all the discomfort in lacking a fixed occupation or identity squarely rests on my shoulders, or if I am reacting to other people's confusion when I try to explain, "Well, I'm actually a furniture maker, but I'm out of work, so I'm doing the acting and modeling thing, while looking for another woodworking gig." Who does that? I'm not sure if I even understand myself anymore.
In the long run, it's probably a good thing that I am so versatile & adaptable - I always have something relevent for any type of resume I'm creating for myself (and I have at least 3); but I long for the day when I have a short answer to the question, "So what do you do?"
Today I had an epiphany while washing the dishes.
- I don’t need to resolve every conflict I’m involved/dragged into because the fact of the matter is, some people WANT to have a problem with me.
- I don’t need to waste my time & energy responding to every critic because no matter what I do or say will not convince them otherwise.
- I don’t need to persuade anyone into liking me. Again, some people don’t want to like me.
If someone has a problem with you & you’re genuinely doing your personal best to be a good person, that’s their problem, NOT YOURS.
I’ve finally accepted the fact that not everyone will like me. Not everyone will agree with my views & it is what it is.
At the end of the day, no matter what anyone online/offline has to say about me, wither it be the legit or slander, I’m unquestionably happy with the life I lead.
What gifts are you planning to get this year for the tech-geek in your life?
Sponsored by LifeScoop: Bringing You Tips for a Connected Lifestyle.
I am not at liberty to say, for my tech-geek might read about it, and then ruin the surprise.
It's done.
The trip that has caused so much ambivalence has been completed. I can now say I've been to Japan. And yes, I would like to return.
I really only wanted to go there to shop, and shop I did. I didn't want to go with inflated expectations. Too many people think Hawai‘i is all grass huts and hula skirts, not realizing Honolulu is a major city like any other city on the Mainland.
I had some notion of what the topography of Japan would look like from media -- music videos, anime -- but I kept my mind open about everything else. And I'm glad I did.
On a more personal level, this trip really demonstrated the stark differences between my brother and me. At the very least, my efforts at more healthful living have paid off. Also, it would really be nice for everyone in my family if dad could just let go and shuffle this mortal coil. (Yes, I said that out loud.)
So, how do I proceed? Report on the sequence of events as they transpired from day to day? Summarize the experience in more general terms? There's the trip to Japan, and there's also my current stay in Hawai‘i. (I return to Austin on Dec. 2.)
The flight to Hawai‘i managed not to piss me off as badly as it usually does, even with a four-hour layover. I think I've discovered the secret to make it tolerable -- alcohol. I had a pair of margaritas at a Mexican restaurant in LAX, and it made me sufficiently tipsy to sleep on the plane. I know what I'm doing on my flight back to LAX.
Before leaving for Japan, I spent five incredibly uneventful days in Honolulu, just watching TV or surfing the web. I paid a visit to Ala Moana to see if I could get some items on my shopping list before heading to Japan, thereby allowing me to get more things there. I was unsuccessful. I did, however, get my ABC Store Men of Hawai‘i calendar.
It got a bit boring, but it just feels nice to be away from Austin -- from the angst about money issues, from the disillusionment of living in a city of which I've grown tired, from work. I would get restless, but then I would pull back and realize I keep myself busy enough when I'm in my own place. Why not relish this time to do absolutely nothing?
The trip would be activity enough.
... except for the vegetarians out there. To you, Happy Tofurkey Day.
My first job was working as a make-up artist in my mom's cosmetic shop, which was located in "the dead mall" across the street from the mega-mall, where everyone respectable went to shop. The only folks who ventured into the dead mall were those with bizarre fetishes they wanted to try out in "public" without actually being too far out into the public sphere. My four hour shift was often punctuated with high school principals and construction workers in drag, trying out the new high heels they just scored at Payless; a 60 yr. old woman dressed as a naughty school girl being led around on a leash by her husband; your occasional flasher; foot fetish guy who would creepily make me show him the colors of "toenail" polish we carried and on & on...
Anyway, it appears that Vox is now the dead mall. Of course, I'm sure there are still many "respectable" folks on here...but more so, there are a lot just letting their freak flag fly. And I love it. You are my people and I'm happy to be back. But don't send me pictures of your penis. Thanks.
Hello Members of Girl Germs,
I am very sorry that I went MIA for so long and spammers have been allowed to contaminate this space. I'm back now and ready to lay the smack down. I nuked as many spam posts as I could find and members that are clearly robots...but I'm sure I didn't catch everything. If you see something that should be destroyed, please let me know so that I can take care of it.
Thank you so much for adding all this wonderful content to the group - I have enjoyed catching up with everything I missed and have learned a lot. Also, you have inspired me so much! I can't wait to start writing again!
xoxo,
Miss Scotch
This Sunday, a local tweetup that was organized by @LaurieCocitello and @tracitoguchi at @BigCityDiner, celebrated all the goodness (and a little out-of-the-boxness) of bacon. Having a recent episode of Diners Drive-Ins and Dives fresh in my mind, I set out to attempt to recreate, dun-dun-dah... The Bacon-Wrapped Meatloaf! I found such a recipe on the web but I thought, hmm... a little too complicated, no? So I improvised. At the tweetup, tweeps busted out all kinds of bacon edibles and artifacts: Someone had a bacon tattoo, there were bacon band-aids (really), bacon-flavored toothpics, bacon-flavored jelly beans, bacon-peanut butter doughnuts (they rocked), bacon-chocolate cupcakes, bacon-cheese chips, little bacon-peanut butter rounds (they were good as well), bacon with green beans (gotta have your veggies), and battered deeep-fried bacon with various dipping sauces. So the meatloaf was in good company. Must've been good because I managed to snag a "major award" (think Ralphie's Daddy in A Christmas Story, hehe). Actually I didn't know there'd be prizes... really. Here's the recipe. For something put together at the last minute, it came as quite a surprise that it actually tasted pretty darn good if I say so myself. ;-)
Bacon-Wrapped Meatloaf
Topping
½ Cup Ketchup
1 t Sriracha or other hot sauce (optional)
4 T Cider Vinegar
4 T Brown Sugar
Loaf
1 medium onion – diced
2 cloves garlic – diced
1 T Worcestershire Sauce
2 T Dijon Mustard
1 T Ground Black Pepper
1 Cup Italian Breadcrumbs
2 Eggs
1/2 Cup Milk (Whole or 2%)
1 T Parsley Flakes
1 Package Lipton’s Onion-Mushroom Soup Mix
1 Small Can Sliced Black Olives – drain brine
2 Lbs. Ground Beef
2 Packages Bacon
Mix topping ingredients and set aside. Mix meatloaf ingredients and set aside. Spray large heavy duty foil sheet (enough to cover at least a large roasting pan) with non-stick spray. Set oven rack to mid-level and preheat oven to 375 deg. Place sheet in pan and lay bacon strips along width of foil, overlapping slices. Form loaf in center of bacon and bring the sides of the bacon strips up to cover the loaf. Wrap the loaf with the foil and place the pan in the preheated oven – bake for 35-40 minutes. Remove from oven and increase temperature to 425 deg. Open foil and spoon topping mixture on the top. Bake for another 15-20 minutes until bacon crisps and loaf is done in the center.
Optional gravy
Pour drippings into medium sauce pan and skim most of the oil out. Add about ¾ cup of beef stock. Mix ½ cup stock with 3 T flour. Bring stock/drippings mixture to boil and whisk in flour mixture until thick.
Thanks to the organizers and all the good Hawai'i tweeps (and out-of-towners) and our families who put up with our madness, hehe. Uh, sorry no nutritional information available. You can best assume that there's quite a bit of saturate fat and cholesteral in a couple servings.
